Myths and Facts about Human Growth Hormone

Washington DC – “The Oversight Committee will hold a hearing on Tuesday, February 12, 2008, at 10:00 a.m. in room 2154 Rayburn House Office Building.  The hearing is titled “Myths and Facts about Human Growth Hormone, B-12, and Other Substances.”  A number of products are being sold with the claim that they have positive health impacts.  Medical experts will testify before the Committee in order to help members and the public understand the true effects of the substances.

The first myth is that [tag-tec Lindsay Lohan]Congress[/tag-tec] can actually shed light on the subject of human growth hormone.  It will be interesting to see how they slant the witnesses and coverage to fit their desired result.

Cynical am I?”

Having watched Henry Waxman in action before, I do not trust him to be fair.  There must be some kind of hidden agenda.

The first fact I want to hear is how HGH comes under the jurisdiction of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform?  Don’t they have enough work to do reforming the Government?

Oh, I forgot, they are Members of Congress.  Their only job is to hold out their hands for money and get re-elected.

The funny thing is that Henry Waxman is a Democratic who represents Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, and Malibu.  He has no problem getting re-elected.  I don’t even think Republicans are allowed to live in his district.

Oops, Arnold Schwarzenegger lives there.  He doesn’t count, he’s an actor.

You would think that the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform would have some important issues to address.  Say poverty, crappy public schools, stabilizing Medicare or world peace.  Maybe something simple, like why things are still such a mess in New Orleans.

Have you ever watched a Congressional hearing?  They are one step short of a farce.

A Congressman will give some long winded statement and question combination for the benefit of the cameras.  The questions and statements rarely make any sense.  The witness has to pretend to answer with a straight face.  Then the Congressman leaves because he has to go to the floor and vote.

The hearings are so important that none of the members actually stick around to hear what the people have to say.  They basically just skip out of class.  Maybe a Voters Committee on Congressional Oversight should give them a pop quiz.  If they don’t pass, they can’t run for re-election.

Wouldn’t that be fun.

Basically, this is a marketing exercise to set the stage for the baseball hearings.

The hearing title looks like a blog title.  The website has a cheerful picture of Chairman Henry Waxman in the money corner.  The only name listed under members at the bottom of the page is, Henry Waxman.  A pure political vanity site.  On our dime.

Let’s do the math on this hearing:

+ Start with a typical Congressional business day.
+ Subtract opening statements.
+ Subtract two or three breaks.
+ Subtract a three lobbyist lunch.
+ Subtract long winded questions.
+ Subtract meaningless witness statements.
+ Subtract expert vanity wording.
+ What you have left is the useful information.

Bet it can be measured in nanograms!

Shaken a few times, the output of this hearing could even be homeopathic!